Thursday, October 20, 2011

But I Love Him by Amanda Grace

But I Love Him

Good Reads Summary

Tonight was so much worse than anything before it. Tonight he didn't stop after the first slap.

At the beginning of senior year, Ann was a smiling, straight-A student and track star with friends and a future. Then she met a haunted young man named Connor. Only she can heal his emotional scars; only he could make her feel so loved — and needed. Ann can't recall the pivotal moment it all changed, when she surrendered everything to be with him, but by graduation, her life has become a dangerous high wire act. Just one mistake could trigger Connor's rage, a senseless storm of cruel words and violence damaging everything — and everyone — in its path.

This evocative slideshow of flashbacks reveals a heartbreaking story of love gone terribly wrong.

My Thoughts

I have the strongest urge to judge them. No, I'll be honest, the strongest urge to judge her, even to be disappointed in her choices. But with BUT I LOVE HIM beginning as it did~ at their end, I had to hold in my judgments thoughts, and just see what led them to where they were.

And having witnessed the mix of their start, their end, and their in between, I'm still not a hundred percent sure about what to think BUT I do know what I feel: there's a mix of me being pissed off, me being disappointed and me feeling relief.

Pissed off at whom though? Becauae if we're talking blame, Connor is clearly not a good guy. Do I buy his sob story of 'because my history is a certain way, then I'm bound to turn out a certain way?' I should.. I feel like I should. It's just that I AM NOT THAT FORGIVING. That I pity him cannot be denied, but that I was repulsed by him, that I was angered by him cannot be denied either.

And a disappointment directed at whom precisely? At Ann? I skirted that not so positive place of blaming her, the victim, a moment or two there. Because seeing where she was in the beginning of the book, and learning what she was... just tore at me! Or even at her people? While seeing her struggle through things all alone, I wondered where they were and how they could just let things be. BUT Slowly the and their why's came clear across. I saw just how things came to be...

It's intense and emotional. All through out, I struggled with my tendency to put blame on someone and to be too quick to judge others (in fact, I'm still struggling with the same.) It's not a story I enjoyed, but it's got me thinking and feeling intense things right now. But mainly it's got me thinking that you can't help those who don't want to be helped. And in this one, who needed help? Was it Connor? Was it Ann? Or was it both of them?

Read this!     

1 comment:

  1. oh way to go with your review! i love how personal your response is :)

    i recently read this one as well. i liked it ~ but also didnt get as emotionally involved as i wanted to.

    x Nomes